Olympic Torch Catches Swine Flu, Could Infect Millions at Event

Edmundston, New Brunswick, Canada- Swine flu has been a concern for Olympic planners ever since news of the disease broke earlier this year. Several worldwide events, including the Hajj in Mecca, Saudia Arabia, have been carefully planned to protect people. But the Olympic Games, which start in February, have been struck by another problem: The Olympic Torch has been infected by swine flu.

The torch, which brings a flame from Olympia, Greece to the site of the events, caught the disease a few days back when one of the carriers neglected to use hand sanitizer before handling it. This spread the disease to the torch, which has been coughing out the H1N1 virus since being infected. That means the people in the communities surrounding the route have been exposed and as the torch travels through Canada it could infect the whole nation.

"This is a sad and totally unforeseen event. We've heard of cats and dogs catching the virus, but inanimate objects like the torch didn't cross our minds. Right now the torch is leaving a trail of pestilence and death in its wake," said Michael Chambers, President of the Canadian Olympic Committee.

Asked if the torch could be put under quarantine until it is clear of the virus, Chambers said fear of the wrath of the Greek Gods prevented them.

"The Greek Gods, while rarely worshiped, have been sated by our remembrance of them during the Olympic Games. Were we to reject their fire we might end up like Prometheus, bound to the top of a rock with an eagle flying overhead that swoops in to eat out our entrails," Chambers said.

Canadian health officials have started requiring masks, gloves and hand sanitizer be used by Olympic torch bearers. People coming out to see the torch run by have been advised by government to take precautions against infection.