Scribblenauts No Match for MacGyvernauts

Scribblenauts, an interactive puzzle game for Nintendo DS, has been a product of innovative ideas with less than stellar execution. Players can summon any object by typing it in, but the needed item doesn't always make sense

The New York Times Video Game Reviewer summed up the issue:

You type in a word, and the corresponding object magically appears on the screen. Almost anything you can think of that isn’t sexual, racially offensive or copyrighted is included. The concept is that you are limited only by your imagination in how you solve the various puzzles.

But it generally doesn’t work out that way. Instead, the interaction among various objects often seems arbitrary. I need to start my car, for instance. Giving Maxwell a key doesn’t help. Maybe I can summon a tow truck and connect it to my car with jumper cables? No dice.

In frustration I went online to look for help. It turns out that to start the car I need either to summon a thundercloud to strike the car with lightning or string a series of wires between the car and a nearby power line, neither of which makes any sense.

Even if this did work as intended, where players could summon any object, there are no points for creativity. That's why I've decided to launch my own video game, MacGyvernauts. In lieu of letting players type in any item, the objective will be to fashion your way out using only a few everyday items. Players can choose from a selected list of items, such as the contents of a first aid kit, a sewing kit, or cooking supplies. From that list hey could combine things physically, chemically or otherwise to create contraptions to aid their escape.

Points will be award on the basis of originality. Answers easily looked up on Life Hacker or a Boy Scout manual will get 10 points, while MacGyver ready solutions will get 100 points. This will encourage creative thinking, experimentation and a market for the Blu Ray release of MacGyver: The Complete Series, which I have invested my retirement money in, so it had better succeed.

Commentary: Obama's Nobel Prize Sets Unrealistic Goals for Future Suitors of His Daughters

First off, congratulations of President Obama on being the winner of the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. It's a great honor for him and America at a time when America has rebuilt it's image.

But all right thinking people must agree that this comes at an awkward time for the President. He's only been in office since late January, and while his speech have led to great opportunities, nothing concrete has happened.

But there has been much talk on that point. What's been overlooked is a comment in Obama's speech that pertains to his daughters reaction.

"After I received the news, Malia walked in and said, 'Daddy, you won the Nobel Peace Prize, and it is Bo's birthday.' And then Sasha added, `Plus, we have a three-day weekend coming up.' So it's -- it's good to have kids to keep things in perspective."

While people will read this into Obama's humility, a dedicated Freudian can't help but see this as a red flag regarding his daughters. The Electra Complex, like the Oedipus Complex,  means children will be attracted to significant others like their opposite sex parent. While Obama is a great father, respectful, sober, intelligent and well revered, the scope of his accomplishments only screws over the guys who one day will be suitors to his daughters.

Imagine it. By age 48 he's been a Harvard Law Review President, Illinois State Representative, U.S. Senator, best-selling author of two books., a Grammy winner, Time's Person of the Year, U.S. President and now a Nobel Laureate. How is some awkward pubescent boy going to compete with that? Even the guy who is QB of the JV football team has to feel an inferiority complex

Imagine trying to sweet talk the daughter of one of the nation's greatest orators. Women swoon and feint at his political rallies and his speeches will one day be quoted next to Lincoln and Franklin Roosevelt. This is the same guy who read the girls bedtime stories their whole life. Even the most creative pick up line will seem mere grunts in comparison.

Obama has great ambition for the next generation. His work for peace and prosperity will give the next generation a great future they wouldn't have otherwise. But damn if he hasn't screwed the guys who would date his daughters.

The one solace is that the boys will have a few more years of their latency period before they are greatly humbled by the fact that no matter how hard most of them try, they will forever be mere boys in the eyes of Obama's daughters.

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/09/obama-nobel-speech-video_n_315324.html

Human Cloning Company Hit Hard Times, Sells Experiments for Parts

PALO ALTO, CA - Clonia, a biomedical firm specializing in research into humoan cloning, has announced that due to a tight credit market and lackluster investor activity it will be forced to sell some of its experiments for parts in order ot further its research. The firm says the bad economy has hurt it sales potential as affluent people hold back spending on clones for heirs or organs.

"The collapse of the banking system and subsequent recession have hurt our cash flow, and in order to make up for the losses we must sell off inventory and a low price," said Dr. Richard Harper, CEO of Clonia.

Harper said that the experimental clones are usually donated to UCLA Medical School for the tax write-off, but now they may be the sole source of revenue to keep the company afloat.

Cloning researcher Alana Fox of MIT, who is not connected to the company, said that there is a risk of complication from cloned organs, but they can be safer from other alternatives.

"Clones being chop-shopped into organs had some problems associated with them. Sometimes it's one organ system failure, sometimes unknown. But if the medical history of the clone is well documented the problems can be mitigated. It's certainly better than buying Chinese organs on the black market, since those almost certainly contian lead," Fox said.