BY DALE MCMANLY DALESON
What do a manly deer hunter and a nancy-guy running the Whole Foods have in common? Not a lot, as y'all hunter know. But the one thing both could use is more organic meat in his diet.
The Nancy-man simply needs to stop eating them soy-burgers that make his so gassy and lean. A good dose of stew will fill him out and finally get some testosterone in his veins.
But even us hunters could use some better meat in our diets. See, tasty as those steaks you buy in the Supermarket are, the farmers now a days pump them full of growth hormones that give guys man-boobs. The only rack you want to be sporting is a nice 18 pointer in the living room, not a rack that rivals your stripper cousin Debbie's.
As hunters y'all are already at an advantage. Deer don't get injected full of shit, unless they feed near a nuclear plant. They're also free range, which should shut up your sissy college cousin out on the East Coast.
The newest innovation in organic deer hunting is the use of organic bait. Most of those corn bait you get is genetically modified and hit with pesticides, fertilizers and all sorts of other shit. Rather than taint your deer with some Frankenstein corn, you should hunt like your Daddy and great-grandaddy and only use natural corn like that type they grew themselves. Think of this as a return to the old ways, not some sissy touchy feely type thing.
When you bring home your deer you can proudly proclaim you've got a locally sourced, free range organic meal made by your own hands. See if you can't show up that nancy-man at Whole Foods. But don't get to uppity. You should do the Christian thing and invite him to the celebratory deer-meat dinner. The hunting gods will reward you next season with a nice 18 pointer walking into clear range only fifty yards away. Just as you pull your trigger you can remember that by going organic, you've been rewarded by karma.
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Guns and Killin' is a recurring segment on Blogging Bard where Dale McManly Daleson will inform you on the latest in hunting, fishing, outdoorsmanship, and home protection.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
GUNS AND KILLIN' COMMENTARY: Try Organic Deer Bait to Keep Venison Organic, Free Range
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Labels:
deer,
deer bait,
free range,
humorous observation,
hunting,
organic,
venision
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